This epiphany hit me last night. After spending a little more than an hour trying to rewrite a chapter with tired eyes, I grew frustrated. While my characters chit-chatted and my story sped on, I felt uneasy. Something was missing.
1. Setting - I could always use more details, more imagery. Sights, sounds, and a taste or two made their collective presence known. No touch though. And no smells either. How inhumane can I be? No wonder my characters are talking so much!
2. Subplots - In a first-person narrative, subplots are rather limited to the extent of the main character's perspective. Nevertheless, the depths of characterization from those who support him/her ought to be explored, especially if it is a longer piece of work.
Instead of using conversations between my main and supporting characters, I am substituting in more people-watching scenes for him. This should help me show those other characters through his perspective.
3. Pacing - In graduate school, I took a screenwriting course and loved it. However, I am afraid its influence has leaked more into my fiction than I want. When I write non-fiction, I use quoted material for support. This is the mindset I take with me into fiction rewrites.
Can I show this (scene) rather than depend on my characters to tell it? Almost always. Showing helps to slow down the tempo of the story, so it does not read like a script. Trying to show through heavy use of dialogue tags is distracting, and the preferred "he said/she said" approach with tags is often skimmed over by readers.
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Compounding my frustration last night was the realization that I had spent that valuable time proofreading rather than rewriting my chapter. Not until I had given up completely to call it a night did it hit me. A good night's sleep soon followed, but not before I scribbled out these three words on the cover of a magazine atop the mess that is my nightstand: "Too much dialogue."
I'm not going to go all-Cormac McCarthy, but I am working to cut out around half of these quotation marks. If my problem persists, sorry Mr. Keyboard. You're going to have a gap between your Colon/Semicolon and Enter keys.
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